Hazelnut choc and signature choc from starbucks.
would you buy me one hazelnut choc and see my face stick with whipped cream?
and give me that hazelnut choc after putting so much of my fav choc powder?



edited//
i enjoy the loneliness sitting under the shade and listening to the songs on my ipod. the songs that playing on ipod and the songs that runs around starbucks doesnt match. its irony, how i am listening to both of them. this is something like you did. your ears are so sensitive, for any songs that going on, or any sound, you can hear it. but i dont, most of the time.

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

theres unknown distance
but with my heart, it cant changes.
not for now.
as you know, how it grows, how it takes.
it always there.
like how you held my hand.
take our time.
we need some little space for our own.
do you like babies?
watch john and kate.
=) smile for giraffe.

bye folks.
i need a break.
i might come back soon.
final is near.
i cant afford to screw it up.




will you be here?
thanks man.





edited///


i dont know how many times i have been editing this post, again and again. now it is raining outside. like it knows how i feel deep inside. its cold here. with the hoodies i brought it still doesnt help much. maybe, a cup of hazelnut choc will help. my fav all time. listening to sad songs, sitting alone in starbucks, enjoy in the rainy day, its another good emo day. with all the formula stuck in my mind, i dont know if i would applying them good. at least, i know the sky is temaning me. not much of a loner. have you sit down and watch the rain drops fall? have you enjoy dancing in the rain? have you take an umbrella and walk in the rain?

i would do that, if only you are here.



=='' another bye.

I am running.
Far away.

If you call and asked if I was fine, I would said yes;
But my voice tells you that was a lie.

Do you miss my smile?
I do.
The warmest hug is when I have it from you, tightly.

Have you have or had someone who is so important in you life? Cut off the family, parents part. I meant someone who is not from your family. Like a friend? Or maybe sometime more than a friend. Its just different from the family, no matter how far you go, what you are doing, family will never leave. But in life, do you have someone else like that in your life?

I have someone as I mentioned above. If you read the previous post, you would know how is he in my life. For everytime I read it back, I cried. But its definitely not because I am upset. But I am touched, with someone like that I have in my heart. For everytime I feel so selfish about myself, I cried. I am just a little small girl beside him. Not too much of an independent nor the strong girl you always see. You dont see who I am when I am around him, you dont feel how I act when I am with him.

Its more than a boyfriend. Its more than a friend you can lye on. Its like soulmate. Theres so much space and comfortable zone. I have no problem to tell him anything, like anything, except those surprises that I wanna do on him. Or even if I hide anything, in the end of the day, he will be the first one to know nor first one to find it out. A very good listener, listen and tell you that you are a strong little girl and everything is gonna be alright. Especially at times like this, stress out, sleepless night and unstable emotional. Theres so much you can lye on him and cry out loud. He will kiss your forehead and smile at you.

He will never tell you how he feel, like things he worry about, things that mary-go-round in his mind, things that he never want you to worry for him. Always being a girlfriend, the first one you always want to call to is your boyfriend, and non stop complaning nor talking about how hard your day is, how stress out your day is, how tired you are. But the other side of the phone is always so patient and listen to you no matter how tired he is after a long day. He tried to give his best to you and comfort you, while you not knowing he had a long day too.


Do you know how much you mean to me?
I couldnt find the best world.
But for sure I know, you are the only one lives in my heart.







goodnight folks.

He always be crazy with you and support you in a way where he think its time for you to be crazy.
He would wake up in the midnight and check his phone and gave you a call in return to check if you are alright.
He would wake up in the morning just to wake you up because you asked him to do so.
He wouldnt message you nor call you like how other boyfriends do because he has a life.
He will not blame you for not messaging him nor call him just because you were out.
He will not blame you if he cant find you no where just because you didnt tell him.
He would drive all 132 km just to see you for 5 minutes because he just miss you too much.
He wouldnt leave his work and come to see you because he know he need to do his best in studies.
He wouldnt call you nor talk to you if he is in a bad mood, he rather take in everything.
He eat all your cooking no matter its nice or not and will still tell you how lovely it is.
He will buy you icecream whenever you ask him to do so and force you eat everything.
He will be like a small boy and just lye on your shoulder because he feel warm beside you.
He will kiss your hand again and again and again because he misses you.
He will tell you that you are his strong little girl and everything is gonna be okay when you are falling down.
He gives you big hug whenever you need it.
He will only buy what you think its nice on him and he believes in your taste of fashion.
He will order and give his food to you because he know you love trying on fancy name.
He will not surprise you as much as you expect because he is a noob.
He shows his care in a very different way which makes you feel you are an individual too.
He will spend as much as time he could if he could.
He will drive you to New town just to buy a RamlyBurger and eat with you in the car.
He willing to try out new food with you and walk the whole day with you.
He will not put your picture in the wallet because he doesnt love sitting on your face.
He will keeps small things of yours like a piece of tissue that you scribble on.
He will put you asleep and treat you like a small girl when he thinks you should be in that way.
He will tell you the right and wrong and will not fake it just because he love you.
He never look at another hot girl because he thinks his girl is the best he found.
He never fuck around because he thinks he already has one deep inside his heart.
He takes a lot of time to sleep and sleep and sleep just because he knows you will let him to do so.
He never worry that you will find another or look for another because theres so much trust in you.


He gives you his heart and know that you take care of it very well.
He is mine.

the man that lives in my heart.

10 minutes ago...

rahimcheali : hye darlingggg!!
me: hello rahimbinali.
rahimcheali : do you luv me?
me: no.
me: =D
me: sorry.
rahimcheali: why?
me: because my heart only can fit one person.
no more space for another.
=P

.....


then he appears offline.




oppsie..






have a goodnight!
=)

you know who you are. Mmmuaaahh..

They speak it all.

Into The Ocean

I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life vest I'd be stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like 'fourteen miles away'

Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be...
be...

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up, take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard?
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam, junk will do just fine
the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life, believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing?)

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up, take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow, yeah
Just to prove I knew how, yeah
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
Set front row in my need to fall


//

when you have no ingredient but you feel like cooking spaghetti.
=)

I had a great cooking day.
I wish you were here to taste my cooking.
=/

have I told you,
you are a piece of art work of my life?
A perfect piece of mine.

Its just hard to say goodbye again and again.
hug you real tight because I know i m gonna miss that feeling.
touching on your face because i know i m gonna miss that softy.
hold your hand real tight because i know i can never find another long finger which fits mine.



=)

When I am back to you, I took a little bit of time, dressing up myself, put some foundation, some mascara. And give you a big wide smile. You will always give me a thousand smile and eye
looking in return.
You will whisper and said, bi you look beautiful. the mohawk on your head look good on you.


but even with the no make up face, blur face and no brush teeth. You will still kiss on my lips and wish me good morning. =)

Its another deepavali, another year had passed. Remember the last two years? For the very first time I put on saree and looking like a real chindian. That time you wasnt mine. There was a little conflict. But it was all good. And the second year, with tosai and mutton which is my favourite. =) And this year, with you saying, STOP becoming my house's guli. Thats the favourite part of all. But everytime end of deepavali open house, I see your sleepy face and so tired, that makes me wanna hug you more and give you a little bit more of massage.

Read a post in pohyi's blog today. It was on her opinions on how girl acts according to how they want it to be for guy, something like how a guy makes a girl act. Some of them i think its very true. Sometimes you take a little bit of time and whole heart to know and to understand how a person feels and what a person wants. When I'm reading the post, I projected it on myself. Its like putting myself in those same situation and thinking how i act differently infront of you and others. Come to this, I find myself being a little girl infront of you. A little girl who tried to be a big girl who wants to take care of you and mature-adult wanna be. =) But in your eyes, she is always a small girl to you, that you wanna pamper so much, that you wanna just let her be a small girl always.


your small chinese girl.
as always.

Happy Deepavali.

Yes, I am a chinnnn-diannn. =D

I m home. =)

A big wide smile on my face the moment I reached Nilai. =) It took me an hour from Ayer Keroh to Nilai, not sure if I was flying. But very sure I keep my track below 100km/hour. Need to slow down slow down. =.=''

Well people in KL, I will be going back on to Mlk on Monday afternoon. Ask me out for lunch/dinner/yumcha. I miss you guys. =(

The Beatles - I wanna hold your hand
Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Oh, please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
and please, say to me

You'll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you i feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah you, got that something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you I feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah you, got that something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your ha-a-a-a-a-a-and

Sitting here in Uncle John and having the thought of writing a post. Looking through my form six mates' blog, those who leave home and stay in a stranger place, just like me. Found out that its not only me who feel like this, we all feel the same. You might say, its very near for me to go back home, anytime I want, but have you thought of what is in my mind? Not really dont you? Like they say, they dont feel belonging though its coming to an end of first sem, so do I. Its not like we can't find our group of friends, its just, not the way how it use to be back home. Like everyone has a mask to cover up their real face, like everyone who doesnt wish to reveal so much of them. Scare of being comment, scare of unwanted rumours. Its a cycle of growing up I suppose.

Joined the Uni's belated moonfest, thanks to edwin who got me a bear. A nice one. Thanks to bunch of Utem's corner member who accompany me through out the whole thing. And had some new friends, especially jimmy, eric and thomas who was really kena so much from me and hui. Hui dear was also there with me the whole while. It was a good experience, though its not really that entertaining and organise, but at least thats a way for me to spend another weekend. The next day had dim sum with the big bunch after getting the saham thing. It was really quick. Have no idea what it is about, just know that its for our local Uni student. The goverment is being nice this time. Drove down to the town yesterday, felt like going on a tour of Melaka. Had my melakian housemate to be my tour guide, had decent melaka kampung style dinner. It was just awesome day. Maxis service here in Melaka is not being very nice to me, messages delay, even it delayed for a day, which really piss me off. Drove pass Masjid Tanah, Pantai Klebang, remind me of tanith's house. Drove pass red town, jonker street, miss how me, aroon, zi wei and mum had a day trip here. Melaka is yet to explore, another 4 years. =)

And I miss shisha in Melaka. =(

Like taking my alone time sometimes, it makes me feel the need to be secretive, read through those blogs and look through things that I always want to know. Miss how it is when he hugged me and we look through whats on the screen. I miss you. =\








p.s:
I love talking to you at night after a long day.
I love the way I share things with you and you understand it just like the way I do.
I love how you get manja with me and sayang me on the phone.
I love how you kiss me goodnight and wish me morning after hours.
I love the way we are.
I just love having you here with me. Right here in my heart.

我是你的長頸鹿孩子。

You look so beautiful today
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So I try to find the words that I could say
I know distance doesn't matter
But you feel so far away
And I can't lie
But everytime I leave my heart turns grey
And I, I wanna come back home to see your face tonight...

Cause I just can't take it
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait forever...

You look so beautiful today
It's like everytime I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes, man, I wish that I could stay
And I can't lie, but everytime I leave my heart turns grey
And I, I wanna come back home to see your face tonight...

Cause I just can't take it
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
I can wait, I can wait.. I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait.. I can wait forever...

I know it feels like forever
I guess thats just a price I've gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch makes it better
'Til that day there's nothing else I can do

I can wait forever..

認識我久的人都知道我的脾性吧，有時候我很能忍，有時你觸發了我，我就不給你面子。 我懂得甚麼是給與受，我懂得我給的限度，我懂得我受的起沒。我很有原則，可能給你來說是固哲。 我不懂得如何討好，也不懂得為甚麼要討好，做好自己就好咯。有時候，我很驕傲，我很有性格，但那是你不認識我的時候。讓我欣賞得人很少，讓我感到值得去欣賞的人更少。讓我能體諒的人只有我關心的人，與我愛的人。我很直腸直吐，沒甚麼可以隱瞞，也希望身邊的人都一樣。但是地球不是為你而旋轉，而你是在這旋轉著的地球裡的一個小人類。世界很大，很多東西我們 都還沒看見，還沒體驗，還有很多正在等著我們呢。我拿得起，放得下，這都媽媽常說得。爸爸說要用功讀書，世界不直只有你。我心裡的他說只要我開心，甚麼都是美好得。就這樣，我變的樂觀的，超級樂觀。睡一覺，甚麼煩惱都忘了，做人輕輕松松。我沒有很偉大的志願，我志向將來的我與我身邊的人都很幸福。

if im ever calling for you, would you hear me?
if im saying i need you, will you be here?

sunny sunday.
=D

Suddenly. I miss home.


Happy Mooncake festival peeps. =)

Its my very first Mooncake festival not with the bunch of monkeys in KL and my family. It was hard to fell asleep last night. Had a small gathering for mooncake festival with the girls and boys. It was very nice of them, though nothing like how we used to have BBQ nor water spray at shereen's or anything back in home, like family dinner and my favourite choc mooncake.

you know i miss u

I get used to sit at Uncle John's. I spend most of my free time here, and hoping to see you online too. How I actually miss everyone back home and wanted to just shout out loud saying I miss you. Not too into driving, its tiring. And really hope someone is here to drive me around. =( Had hari raya visit at housemate's. Her mum is very nice and cooked us lunch. And got my very first duit Hari Raya of the year. =)




















=)