For the time that I did not write here, is when I had the most crucial time. I don't think I even have the time to stop my brain. It actually works faster than what my hand could capture. Tonight I get to know myself a little bit more. I'm not that kind of person who gave up easily, or at least, by the end of the day I get my solution. I know people who works with me could feel the pressure, but I think that's where the result shows. These days I have became a lot calmer, sometimes I feel numb about getting angry or frustrated. I just take it as if that person didn't understand what I asked for. Working as a team is hard, working with a person who has no time management is even harder.

I don't waste time, and I won't let you waste my time.

Home

Its not the first time I am writing about "Home". When you feel so alone in an empty state you barely enjoy yourself, home is the only place you can escape to. I am lucky that I wasn't too far away from home. And I have the ability to come home whenever I want to. This time, I choose to come home without any hesitation. It seems like I am back to my Year1 routine, roommates just stayed as roommates, nothing beyond that, simply because we have nothing in common. It feels good to come home, it feels good to be working on the same table that I used to study on for the past 8 years. It feels good to know that, no matter how tired you are, in this midnight, you have someone with you, you are not alone. Thats the feeling I was looking for, accompany. No matter how independent I am, I feel lonely too. I am glad I found people who acts the same like me, and they taught me how to open up my mind and my heart. I am happy when I am home.

Life

I have not been sitting down without looking at the papers and websites. For the past 3 weeks, I have been searching up for papers, videos and different ideas for different projects. Just felt like sometimes my brain contains too much that I feel numb about it.

Thats what is growing inside of me.

I guess this could be the most lonely year of all. Most of the time, I spent time alone in the room, or the whole house just got really quiet. I losses the ability to be random and go out, I guess i  m just losing out a partner in crime. I used to have different layers of friends for doing different interest of work. In high school, I would have CarmenOng and Linda. In form6, I had Tanith, then it went wrong, and my boyfriend. In university, without having a boyfriend, and the ex housemates that clicks with you, you are forever alone.