It feels like the olden days finally

Gahh!! ;) I am a happy girl when my indian boy is around me! And he does pays much attention on me, more than usual. And I am just glad that I am back for this weekend. ;)

Oh did I tell you I went to Gasing to feed monkey today? Hehe, it was a random thing of mine. I didn't plan anything, I was only awake at 1pm, and called up bhai for lunch. Yummy Kana's Curry House for decent food, and headed to gasing for the monkeys as Nic was worried about the result. I think feeding monkey and sitting on the hill is good for distressing. 

My handsome moodle toddle poodle of the day. Nah! my penguin sayang!

Can you imagine giraffe and monkeys? Haha, I was the pet that only allowed in Kana's and I do make friends with monkeys! ;) They are freaking cute, especially when they are helping each other to look for kutu! Not forgetting how blur they are when they stare into you and they beg for food, the little ones.

Went over to Bi's at PJ. And trying to pose with his electric guitar, because it has a string, the acoustic's doesn't has one. Failed.  

And finally he can't stand the way I take those picture, and this is the proper one he got for me. ;)

And this one too! My camwhore. 

Me at Shiok cafe with bhai's cap. It was fun with Ragu, that boy just cracked me up with his jokes. And they bitching stories are awesome to be listen too, though I curi dengar. Haha. Sarvin the hairy man was depress, but he still let me tried lighting up the cigarrette with carcoal.

 

 He was forced by me! ;) Gahh! I love my handsome boy!

Home

I am home for good. Its been a while I haven't stay up till this late and chatting with my girls online. The last time was in the girls' trip doing pedicure and manicure and I finally fell asleep as I can't stand it. I had so much fun in pasar malam just now. I mean, eating and walking around, sight-seeing is always my best talent. Eventhough I am full, I am trying to chuck every single thing I see and not forgetting pass on my unfinish one to abi, yea, that makes him sound like my recycle bin but he needs to eat more! ;P

Sometimes I miss how I used to be. Some kind of random and wild me. I used to just randomly go to a place and spend my time with friends, but these days, I am getting into steady and boring mode. I spend more time on my assignment/studies and I am being called as geek now. I am the new geek. I am wondering where is the inner side of me has gone to? Or is this just another growing up phase. Oh, at least, I don't feel like an outcast, for the moment.

Its different feeling everytime I come home. But I know there is one thing that never change, its when I stepped into the house, my dogs start barking for my attention, and everytime I am back, I know my mum and ahbi will be here, as always.

Its whether you accept or you have to live with it

Sometimes when world doesn't go the way you wanted, then you would have to find another alternative way which makes it look like it goes the way you want. Anything that makes you happy or feeling better. "Its ironic how mood changes in one second, and how much I wish/I hope my happiness stay slightly longer."

Sometimes I just wish I get some messages in return, just to ask me how do i do for the day. A little bit of concern makes me happy. Or anything that you say/you share makes me feel alive. Make me a room for you to speak.

Or maybe thats just you. Thats just how you live the way you wanted, or maybe thats just how tolerating comes into place.

I just want to feel loved all the time.

and I'm tired of imagine.

I just want to be me

I don't understand; partly it's all about my level of understanding, mainly it's about how much people expect from me.

I admit. I can read people mind, but who doesn't? And I know I have ability to understand a certain paragraph, or fact, or even mechanism within seconds, but this doesn't mean that I'm good with dealing with emotions. Human kind is the most complicated living things on earth, and do you know how much time or how much "fillinyourself" to understand a person completely? I'm tired of getting expectation from people who expect me to understand, can't you just tell me how you feel?

Can't you just be in my shoe and feel how desperate I wanted to be understood in return?

I'm very tired. And I'm sorry in whichever way that I'm not up to your expectation.
Oh dear friend, I need you to understand me too.

Him

Was listening to a bunch of songs which reminded me of him. Was wondering how this Friday night will be when he is around? Probably having dinner with him, talk about silly topics like we always used to. Discuss and defend our very own opinions, or maybe sharing them and have a good laugh about gossiping others. Later that night, we might catch up with his friends and have a drive in his car, with his hand and mine on the gear handle. In a way, he is much more like a friend to me, someone who i am very comfortable with, a boyfriend who just so natural about being himself.

This guy is more than just a boyfriend for me.

nice ahbi?

And just at nights like this, make me miss him more.

happy anniversary my love.

Last train home

You haven't changed. 
Stand in the light, 
I need to see you, 
uncover my eyes. 

The tears coming down, 
making lines on your face. 
One for each year, now 
that you've been away. 

We were only kids, 
we ran like water. 
Your dad said, 
stay away from my daughter. 
The sun was coming down when I said, 
can't you just believe? 

And if you wait for me, 
I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way. 
And if you wait for me, 
I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say. 
I'll be your shelter, 
I'll be your fate. 
I'll be forever, 
wait for me. 

I'll be the last train, 
I'll be the last train home. 

You were a storm, 
it blew us away. 
I wouldn't leave you, 
but you couldn't stay. 

We were only kids, 
we ran like water. 
Your dad said, 
stay away from my daughter. 
The sun was coming down when I said, 
can't you just believe? 

And if you wait for me, 
I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way. 
And if you wait for me, 
I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say. 
I'll be your shelter, 
I'll be your fate. 
I'll be forever, 
wait for me. 

I'll be the last train, 
I'll be the last train home. 


We were only kids, 
we ran like water. 
I told your dad, 
I love your daughter. 
The sun was coming down when I said, 
Hallie just believe. 

And if you wait for me, 
I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way. 
And if you wait for me, 
I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say. 
I'll be your shelter, 
I'll be your fate. 
I'll be forever, 
wait for me. 

I'll be the last train, 
I'll be the last train, 
Hold on to love, 
and wait for me. 

I'll be the last train, 
I'll be the last train home. 

I'll be the last train, 
I'll be your last train home.

Long post

You know whats the best thing to do at the moment? Sleep. I have not been sleeping nicely and peacefully for the past few days, and maybe thats the main reason why I don't blog when I am so tired, I don't even know what I am thinking, or practically what I want. I am still tired.

After reading a tumblr of my friend, it reminded me that how much I have known her for life. Maybe about 20 years? Since babies. And the best thing is, it feels like how she described on her tumblr. Interesting. It actually makes you think by reflecting it on your own, and you would see, maybe every once and then you had the same moment as she does.

Last weekend, I went back to KL. I miss how it was to feel to be sleeping on your own, waking up and talking to your dog eventhough they would just stared. I miss how everyday is busy busy busy and I went around the places the whole day. I miss how my mum mumble about everything in the house and my dad give me that blur look. I miss how the girls get together every time i pm them about outing just the day itself. I miss how ahbi drives me around and i don't have to worry if my legs get tired on the paddle. I miss how I can eat all kind food back in KL and not worrying about the cash.

And tonight, enough of all these ramblings.
I need to get back to my books.
and I have sorethroat for bloody three unsleep nights.



ciao.